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Anxiety: How I Learned To Sit Back And Let Go Of The Wheel

today11 April 2021

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The tendency to “think too much” could be rooted in an issue deeper than most realise.

 

Ever since I was a kid, my mind was constantly buzzing and running. It was hard to fall asleep. It was hard to feel carefree, the way kids should. It was hard to live in a child’s body when you’re constantly worrying about adult things. 

 

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It wasn’t until I got older that I realised this constant “waiting for the other shoe to drop” feeling has a name — anxiety. 

 

Upon some self-reflection, it came to me that half of my personality is really just my coping mechanism: the need to exert as much control as possible over my own life. And it worked…in a way.

 

Constantly planning ahead made me feel assured that nothing was slipping through my fingers. Always being a step ahead — or three — gave me the peace of mind that should something go wrong, it’s fine! I have a contingency plan!

 

But boy, was I miserable. 

 

 

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It’s not living and it sure leaves you feeling constantly on edge and strung out. It got to the point where something happened that made my life go off-track (despite my white-knuckled grip on the wheel) that I thought to myself, “You know what? To hell with all this!” Because if something’s going to go wrong, it’s going to go wrong anyway. There is no amount of pre-planning or “predictions” that will stop it from happening. 

 

And sometimes, the “worst-case scenario” you are dreadfully anticipating doesn’t even happen! All that energy spent worrying and for what?

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But say it does end up happening. So what? Trust that the future you in that situation will know what to do.

 

It’s still good advice to bring an umbrella in case it rains. Just don’t let it wreck your life. 

 

*Cover image via HuffPost UK

Written by: Farah Qistina


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today11 April 2021

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