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“It Was Time To Say Goodbye”, Chrissy Teigen Pens Emotional Letter Detailing Miscarriage

today29 October 2020

Background

Taking to her social media accounts, 35-year-old entrepreneur Chrissy Teigen and revealed her decision to pen a letter with regards to her and her husband John Legend’s recent loss. She explains why she wanted to write the letter (which can and should be read in its entirety here) by sharing,

 

“I didn’t know how to come back to real life so I wrote this piece for Medium with hopes that I can somehow move on but as soon as I posted it, tears flew out because it felt so….final. I don’t want to ever not remember Jack.”

 

In the essay, Teigen detailed the events leading up to the loss of Jack and it was a harrowing one.

 

 

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During her month of bedrest, Teigen had been diagnosed with “partial placenta abruption”, a condition in which the placenta – the organ that provides nutrients to the baby – is partly or completely separated from the inner wall of the uterus before delivery. When this happens, the oxygen and nutrient supply to the baby can be decreased or cut off and can also cause heavy bleeding in the mother. Which is exactly what Teigen ended up experiencing. While being monitored closely at home, Teigen detailed continuous bleeding “lightly but all day”. However, at one point, Teigen’s bleeding worsened and wouldn’t stop.

 

“After a couple nights at the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming — it was time to say goodbye. He just wouldn’t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either. We had tried bags and bags of blood transfusions, every single one going right through me like we hadn’t done anything at all. Late one night, I was told it would be time to let go in the morning.”

 

From that moment on, Teigen shared how the news devastated her.

 

“I cried a little at first, then went into full-blown convulsions of snot and tears, my breath not able to catch up with my own incredibly deep sadness. Even as I write this now, I can feel the pain all over again. Oxygen was placed over my nose and mouth, and that was the first picture you saw.”

 

After mentioning the pictures that she posted on social media to announce the news of her miscarriage, Teigen addressed the (undeserved) backlash she and Legend faced. Many called out the couple for posting intimate images of themselves as they were dealing with the loss of Jack.

 

 

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What it took for the mother of two to be vulnerable was a strength beyond words, as she wanted to remember Jack. Despite initial hesitation from Legend, both he and Teigens mother agreed to her request to be photographed in the moment. She shared,

 

“It didn’t make sense to him at the time. But I knew I needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle, the same way I needed to remember our tears of joy after after Luna and Miles. And I absolutely knew I needed to share this story.”

 

The TV host is unapologetic about her decision – and rightfully so. Her decision to share the moment so publicly has broken multiple barriers and stigmas surrounding the topic of miscarriage. For centuries, miscarriages have been treated with a mixture of shame and a culture of silence. Teigen’s decision to share the photos “for the people who need them” was fueled by this and her need to do what she needed to do for herself.

 

“I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done. I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like.”

 

 

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forever!

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After days in the hospital bleeding and fearing the worst, Teigen and Legend, revealed on October 1 that she had suffered a miscarriage. This was Chrissy’s third pregnancy, a welcome surprise after believing that she couldn’t get pregnant naturally.  Both of the children that Teigen and Legend share, Luna and Miles, were conceived through IVF treatments. The couple announced they were expecting a third child in Legend’s music video for the song “Wild” but multiple complications (through no fault of her own) throughout her pregnancy ultimately led to the loss of the little boy they had lovingly named Jack. Now, Teigen and Legend are continuing to move forward without forgetting the love they have lost and gained at the same time.

“Jack will always be loved, explained to our kids as existing in the wind and trees and the butterflies they see. Thank you so much to every single person who has had us in their thoughts or gone as far as to send us your love and stories. We are so incredibly lucky.”

 

Written by: Marissa Anne


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